How do I do this? How to deal with frustrations and negative emotions toward someone I love...someone who seems less and less like me...more and more like the world....Can they not see the Truth? Why do they insist on walking and talking less and less of Christ and more and more of the "other"...it is a strange place to be....to be in the middle....to love and to have shared so much life together...but now to find that you may not have so much in common as you once thought....that your paths may no longer run together...or even parallel...yet you can never be completely separated, the pain will be ongoing ....Very hard to know when to speak and when to be silent...all the while battling against the loss you are feeling....the displacement.....
I can only pray that this conclusion is wrong...that I do not see the big picture, that God is at work...that these shifts are not settling into lifestyle...that there is hope and strength in the foundation that has been laid.
Friday, November 09, 2012
Tuesday, November 06, 2012
So I did my civic duty today and voted....it was the first really cold smoke-blowing day we've had with a leaf stripping rain coming down from daybreak.....and what do I see, but dozens...no hundreds of coffee drinking, smart phone addicted, spoiled to central heat and air, never step outside except to get the mail or run to the grocery, city dwellers wading through puddles ankle deep, queuing up to patiently wait their turns...to vote. It was awesome and I confess, I got a bit teary eyed when after 90 minutes my turn finally arrived to make my choices and cast my ballot. What an amazing country we live in...and I am SO thankful for it!
Saturday, November 03, 2012
Thursday, November 01, 2012
I think I will try and post...either here or on Facebook, something every day that I am thankful for during this season of Thanksgiving/November. Today I am thankful for beautiful Autumn days, cool breezes and sunny days....
We have wonderful Autumns in the South....brilliant skies and bright foliage...much of which hasn't even begun to change here near the city. We have extremely pleasant weather for much of it...with temps ranging from the 30s at night to 60-70 degrees during the day. I love sitting on my front porch in the afternoons with the sun beating on me, warming me to my bones....delicious! Soon the rain will come and wash away the beautiful leaves...soon the air will chill, too much to enjoy the porch but for now.... I will be thankful for God's goodness in Autumn.
" To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven"
Thursday, October 04, 2012
I don’t really have very strong feelings these days…I don’t have angst over bills or material possessions or religion or politics. I rarely get angry or even frustrated anymore, I don’t get the blues… …I also do not poignantly feel happiness, peace, excitement, joy… its very tranquil in my life most of the time so it’s kind of boring I guess and I don’t know why this is except that my hormone level is decreasing…I suppose that can account for some of it. Our life moves at a pretty even keel nowadays so there just doesn’t’ seem to be the highs and lows of emotion anymore. Sometimes I miss it….the highs, that is…definitely not the lows!
I have three beautiful children, each of them talented and special in their own ways. They have always made me proud to be their mom. When they were small it was such a hectic time…as anyone with small children can attest, the days are long and harried and you feel as if you are trapped in some sort of time warp where it will never end. But it does end; the babies grow in to children, then teens, then young adults, then, by God’s help, into mature adults with families of their own. They choose friends and colleges and careers and spouses and hopefully, they choose the God they have been raised with. At some point, the decision making and responsibility for them slips out of your hands and into their own. It is a hard place to be…left behind…and yet it is liberating as well. Seeing them struggle and learn and grow as adults and watching as the God that they may or may not have chosen yet, pursues them. It is a beautiful thing to see and reminds me of His pursuit of me once upon a time and even still.
I never really stopped long enough while raising my children, to fully enjoy them…there was always something needing attending to and looking back I think that is sad. They and I have out grown that thankfully and I can now devote more specific attention to them and to their children, more focused attention. There has come a point in our lives together that I can say whole heartedly that I enjoy them, I enjoy their children, I enjoy being with them and talking with them and doing pretty much anything with them and their families. The hard work of raising them has passed and now there is a measure of rest… for me anyway. It is a good time in life, a time to appreciate all that God has blessed me with.
Suddenly today I had a surprising revelation, what has probably been obvious all along for those looking on…
My children and consequently their children bring me joy.
No, more than that, GREAT JOY…. they FILL me with Joy! I am overwhelmed by this feeling, this emotion…and grateful…SO grateful, to feel it so deeply and strongly today.
THIS DAY… I feel JOY, for my children and my grandchildren…they have filled my heart to overflowing!
Thank you, Lord.