I am So far from so many of them that truthfully I may never see them again this side of heaven.
And it hurts....distance and separation hurt...in places I don't want to touch...in deep places inside. I think my favorite idea of heaven is the thought that everyone I love will be in the same place at the same time....of course that may not be true, as there are some I love who may not join me in heaven and then the most tragic thing of all will be that we will be separated forever.
I find it very hard to be thankful for distance..for separation...do I understand that God is working in all these separations? Of course...and He can do things in hearts during times of separation that cannot be accomplished any other way. As a matter of fact almost every reference to separation in scripture refers to purification and holiness so yes, He is surely at work during these times...I respect that..and I trust Him...but to thank Him for it....so difficult....actually this is one of those things I may be better able to thank Him IN rather than for...because thankfully many separations are only for a season...many times the distance is only for a while and then I can be joined again with my loved ones. And oh the joy that floods my soul!
Today I will choose to thank God for the distances, the miles, the spaces between me and the pieces of my heart that are scattered abroad...because separation provides opportunity for God to work... space gives us all room to grow.
6 comments:
So good, so powerful and yet quiet. Like distance itself. I find myself examining my heart to ask if I am thankful for the separations in my own life. I'm not. Lord, make me able.
I am in denial. I miss people - hate that distance separates us - but I pretend that it's all okay because those who know Jesus will one day be with me forever - somehow. Even if we aren't always together - I know that at some point in eternity, we will be again. I'm banking on it. So...I try not to miss them. ha. As a result, I find myself pulling away from people emotionally - because I know how much it hurts when we're apart. A dear friend announced to me that she was moving - shortly after that, I started coming up with every excuse in the book as to why we couldn't get together. The pain of the upcoming separation was too much for me. I'm pitiful. I know it. I could probably be in therapy. I know that too. The end.
I understand completely. You also describe me in this post. I know my son, Seth, will come home next April but he has already been gone a whole year and I miss him so much it hurts. Literally. Now Shaun is in the developmental center for a year and I miss him terribly. I have brothers so far across the country that I have not seen in fifteen years. They just don't care. Life is harder for those of us who love so deeply and do not always get love returned to us.
Cheryl, I love this post because I can somewhat understand the pain you speak of. Not nearly so many people as you and not nearly so far apart, yet separated still. On some days, my heart yearns to sit with them and talk, to wrap my arms around them and hug them closely to me. Yet, there those miles are and here I sit. Being thankful for those miles is often difficult for me, so foreign to my nature of wanting and even needing those I love close to me. Learning to be thankful for the separation I must confess has not happened for me yet; I am a work very much in progress in this area of my life and heart. Thank you for sharing your own heart so openly and honestly. It gives me encouragement.
Thank you sister, so appropriate.
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