Great Joy

I don’t really have very strong feelings these days…I don’t have angst over bills or material possessions or religion or politics.  I rarely get angry or even frustrated anymore, I don’t get the blues… …I also do not poignantly feel happiness, peace, excitement, joy… its very tranquil in my life most of the time so it’s kind of boring I guess and I don’t know why this is except that my hormone level is decreasing…I suppose that can account for some of it.  Our life moves at a pretty even keel nowadays so there just doesn’t’ seem to be the highs and lows of emotion anymore.  Sometimes I miss it….the highs, that is…definitely not the lows!

I have three beautiful children, each of them talented and special in their own ways.  They have always made me proud to be their mom.  When they were small it was such a hectic time…as anyone with small children can attest, the days are long and harried and you feel as if you are trapped in some sort of time warp where it will never end.  But it does end; the babies grow in to children, then teens, then young adults, then, by God’s help, into mature adults with families of their own.  They choose friends and colleges and careers and spouses and hopefully, they choose the God they have been raised with.  At some point, the decision making and responsibility for them slips out of your hands and into their own.  It is a hard place to be…left behind…and yet it is liberating as well.  Seeing them struggle and learn and grow as adults and watching as the God that they may or may not have chosen yet, pursues them.  It is a beautiful thing to see and reminds me of His pursuit of me once upon a time and even still.

 I never really stopped long enough while raising my children, to fully enjoy them…there was always something needing attending to and looking back I think that is sad.  They and I have out grown that thankfully and I can now devote more specific attention to them and to their children, more focused attention.  There has come a point in our lives together that I can say whole heartedly that I enjoy them, I enjoy their children, I enjoy being with them and talking with them and doing pretty much anything with them and their families.  The hard work of raising them has passed and now there is a measure of rest… for me anyway.   It is a good time in life, a time to appreciate all that God has blessed me with.

Suddenly today I had a surprising revelation, what has probably been obvious all along for those looking on…

My children and consequently their children bring me joy. 

No, more than that, GREAT JOY…. they FILL me with Joy!  I am overwhelmed by this feeling, this emotion…and grateful…SO grateful, to feel it so deeply and strongly today.

THIS DAY…  I feel JOY, for my children and my grandchildren…they have filled my heart to overflowing!

Thank you, Lord.

Cathedrals of the heart

I enjoyed a busy weekend with several hours spent digging and planting flowers in the rain.  It was just right rain...the kind that is gentle and warm with no storms or breezes to chill me.   The ground was so dry that even after a while of raining it was still crusty underneath the first few inches.  As I stayed and stayed, getting my pots re-potted and my summer flowers pulled up or cut back I got more and more soaked...reveling in the quiet stillness and in getting muddy.   There was nothing to hear and no one moving about only the rain and an occasional squirrel until at last I retired to the house, exhausted and soaked to the skin, for a nice hot shower and some dinner.
There is nothing like being in God's creation, so refreshing with gentle nature sounds allowing my spirit to relax and rest even though my body was working hard.  There is something healing about being alone with God in His creation... I can see why so many feel as if they have fellow-shipped with Him just by being out in nature...and maybe they have. There is a unique link between God and the beauty of this world He has made.   Even in small places where the man made intrudes it can be a moment out side of time...like a great cathedral filled with the hushed silence of centuries of worshipers....the breeze, rain or waves fading the world away so that you can hear His creation praising Him in its own way....the way He has told it to worship.
 The only other place I can think that God has made on this earth besides the great outdoors is the fellowship of His saints....in the best scenarios saints gather to give Him glory, uplifting one another in the process.  Our spirits were designed to function, perhaps best, in the places that God has made....we appreciate so little of that in our modern day....time is so hurried and rushed... and sometimes we really need to just be....and to be on His terms so as to nourish our spirits and souls......in nature or with His people.... in cathedrals of the heart both seen and unseen....places not made by human hands...