It's amazing how His Spirit works...don't you agree?
I'm not sure what it is...but I can go for a period of time without feeling His presence, without sensing Him...without having that quickening....sort of missing it, sort of feeling overwhelmed with the busyness of life and not really remembering what it is I am missing...then something small...ever so small, will spark in me...usually brought on by an inner urging, turning me to focus on Him for a time...paying attention to His Word or some book about Him or turning the words of a song into a prayer or a conversation with another believer, one of those kind where your spirits do more talking that your mouths...and suddenly...almost without noticing, with little effort on my part...I feel alive.
Do you know what I mean by alive?
That sudden burst of creative energy that causes you to have incredible ideas and thoughts and to know that anything is possible or that awe filled inspiration of looking at nature and sensing something so much greater...in the very same landscape you took for granted only yesterday. Its like looking through His eyes...I think it IS looking through His eyes and sensing by His Spirit and knowing with His confidence that you have power inside and can accomplish anything or that there is a high purpose to this walk and life has real meaning... thinking thoughts outside of your own depth...that come from God knows where...literally...
And when I slip away from this incredible Aliveness...usually without even noticing how the cares of my life are taking me away or how I haven't connected with Him lately... for a time I don't even notice that my life has become dead and boring and dreary...so monotonous and colorless...I only know that something is wrong...terribly wrong...and I think " it can't have always been like this....surely it won't always be this way"...then I remember that I used to feel alive...and I miss it so...but most of the time I can't seem to remember how to get back there...and Christian music or Sunday sermons or daily devotional do little to help.
Then after a while...sometimes after I have given up on ever sensing that Aliveness again...His Spirit is gracious to prompt me and draw me...and I turn again into Him...and Life is there. Sometimes only a tiny spark...but enough to remind me...and quicken me,...a glimpse into what is and what can be that causes me to hunger for more.