Thursday, May 15, 2008

Whose fault is it anyway?

How do you handle problems, difficulties, barriers? Ignore them? Work harder? Separate yourself from the instigators? Blame someone? Persevere?

You know...there is a lot of mess in this world...a lot of very, very difficult stuff. Mountains we can't seem to get over...ever...and you know...when there is someone to blame it all seems easier...ah yes, I can deal with such problems so much better if someone is to blame. Whether its someone else's fault we have this trouble we are in...or whether its our own fault...and we deal with it...we have the capacity to deal with it. Actually we love it when its someone's fault...blame is easy...and when we ourselves are responsible...well we can either easily forgive or we can beat ourselves down and promise to try harder...either one works. Somehow we work through or around these kinds of situations.
In the face of obstacles and problems we are taught all our lives to hang in, work harder, to persevere.

But what about when all our blame or hard work or perseverance does nothing...makes not one little dent....what about when the problem we are experiencing, the difficulty we find ourselves in, the situation that won't budge...what about when its God's fault? What then?
I have found myself in just such a scenario. I have found myself in a place I don't want to be, in a situation I am ill equipped to handle. I have found that all my begging and pleading is to no avail...all my hard work has been in vain...

for God will be God and He will have exactly what He wants and He will have me exactly where He wants me to be. Wriggle and struggle though I may...He has placed me in just this spot and there is no answer that I can way out...and no end in sight....except He create a door out of thin air...which of course He could...but somehow i don't think He is going to ...not for a while anyway...I think this is of His making...its not my fault...not anyone elses fault...only His. Remember when He shut up the womb of Hannah, Samuel's mother...for years...God did was His fault and Hannah had no recourse, no explanation. He is God..He doesn't owe us an explanation after all.

I was thinking about this recently and in the eyes of my spirit I saw a small stream trickling over rocks in my being, flowing downward from a mountain...this is common for me, as i sense His spirit in me, I often sense water...what was uncommon was spirits eye followed the stream backwards uphill to a large dam built away up the mountain...and behind the dam...a huge reservoir....I have a reservoir within me..I know it...I smell it...I saw it....but He has built a dam, a big white dam to block all that water from flowing out... He is in control of all that I am, all that I have inside...of where I am and who I am...and right now...there is only a trickle of water flowing down.....its His fault.

Sometimes being exactly where God wants you...isn't where or what you thought it was going to be.


Deborah and Sally said...

I can SO relate on so many levels of what you wrote !
I am also in this place I hate with all my soulish being.
Not necassarily with the blame part, but just the agony from within part.
I am also begging and pleading to my Lord, I don't know yet what my outcome will be.
All I have is a tread of hope that I cling to, but even that thread is ready to snap !
I agree, it is His fault and there's nothing we can do about it.


Tammy said...

I'm sorry you are going through this part of your life Cheryl...those times are so tough...but God puts us (unfortunately) in places for a reason...just wish He would enlighten us a little when we are going through it know, Hannah didn't get her answer until she admitted she had a problem and then fervently prayed to God from her entire being. Not saying that you haven't done that, it's just things happen in God's time and unfortunately not our own. Praying for an answer to your prayers soon and that God shows you the light at the end of the tunnel.

Joni said...

I can relate to this post so much. I have been in that place many times, and actually am in that place right now.

When it's His fault, though, the beauty of it is that it is also His strength and grace that sustains us in it.

With Job I will say, "Though He slay me, yet will I serve Him."

everydayRANDOM said...

I remember what my 1st pastor told me when I was in a spot exactly like yours...Hold on to what you already know... and wait. That is easy to say but I have always remembered it. To not forget what I know to be true and add to it. Bless you my dear friend. Fault, how much easier is it for each of us to have someone to blame. might be the hardest thing God ever has us do.

Danielle Says Hello said...

Amen to your last statement! Thanks for stopping by and saying hello. The past few months have been a non-stop roller coaster and I often find myself wondering how did I get here and what does God want of me in this place.

Mrs. Mac said...

Being in a 'valley' is the pits ... but ahh when you reach the top of the mountain once again (with God), then there will be peace that passes understanding.

Loved the photo of Jada! What a big girl she is becoming. Enjoy all those moments with her and your family.

KayMac said...

thank you for the fish and the is amazing how God takes a little trickle and by His Spirit...waters many!