I had a memory...

I had a memory...not sure what evoked it, probably a song.....really just a flicker of a memory...til I took it out and examined it.....then suddenly it expanded....it grew into a full fledged remembrance complete with pictures and a sound track....
I was in the 4th grade, I think...really too old for dolls...in my mind anyway...still, I wanted one...just one more before I got too big...(because I always got one for Christmas...)...everything else on my list was grown up...clothes, a stereo, a tennis racket...or a badmitton set....but still I wanted just one more doll...a token wave to my carefree pre-school days before spelling tests and math assignments...
Christmas Eve arrived and my little sister and I scampered off to bed to await the arrival of Santa...Yes, we knew there was no Santa Claus but it was fun to pretend...presents still magically appeared in the night...and nothing was ever so exciting! Too exciting I suppose for we could never sleep...but this night...this Christmas Eve was different...we fell asleep easily, knowing the morning would bring fun like never before...(every year is like never before or so it seems)
Sometime in the night we awoke..I don't know who woke first...me or my sis, but wide awake we were....and all was dark and quiet in the house...just like in the poem...not a creature was stirring....
after lying there for what seemed like hours we made the daring decision to tiptoe to the living room to see if "santa" had arrived....
and sure enough...all the stocking were filled and there was a multitude of gifts stacked under the tree....being the very young girls that we were, we just couldn't go back to bed...no way! This was far too exciting! And then I saw her!....she was unwrapped and sitting on top of the substantial pile of packages.....yes, there was a doll...she was just the right kind of doll for a semi-grown up little girl...she had a cloth body with those soft rubber type arms, legs and head, just perfect for playing house. She had eyes that opened and shut and blonde curls... and what I remember the most...she smelled SO good...just the way a new doll should smell. I inhaled deeply and was intoxicated right away.
We jumped in head first and opened absolutely everything... our parents slept exhaustedly in the next room(they had probably just gotten to bed :))........Around 2am they were awakened by our squeals of delight over our new toys and I can still hear the disappointment in my mother's voice..."we can't even get any pictures...they've opened everything!"
By then we were winding down from our adrenaline highs and getting very sleepy so we were persuaded to go back to bed, taking our new dolls with us (I'm sure my sis got one too). We slept in til 10 am the next morning...the only time that has happened in the history of our family Christmases. We had forgotten one thing..the stockings, hung by the chimney with care..so mom did get pictures of something at least..and we had a bit more fun opening those on Christmas morning..in the daylight..:)
As I recall, that was the only Christmas I actually have memories of my daddy being present for gifts and breakfast, it was our last as a family unit,... my parents seperated the following spring. So I suppose it stands out in my memory as our only family Christmas, as a whole.

I kept and loved that doll for a very long time...far past the age for little girls playing house....and to this very day whenever I smell that smell, that new dolly smell...that old intoxication returns...I see her in my minds eye....and I remember 2 little girls surrounded by Christmas bliss in the middle of the night, the darlings and frustrations of their mommy and daddy... and I smile....