When we All get to Heaven

The past is washing over me just now…it has been for a few weeks now. Is it a cleansing flow? I’m not sure but the pain isn’t as acute as it has been. Reaching out to brothers and sisters who I love dearly and have been missing for what seems like an eternity, I have recently been made aware of just how wonderful heaven must be.

My son in law made a statement at his and my daughter’s wedding that bears repeating…he said

“having all the people I love in the same place at the same time…that’s heaven to me”

I think I can see it…through a glass darkly, I can possibly see just what heaven might be like….It is a place where all my brothers and sisters and I can be together…with no miles, no differences of opinion, no walls, without any of this life’s pain or the smell of flesh between us…all is truly peace and light and the purest of joy, fellowship complete…

I can almost see it…through the veil…and it is a place I long for...a place I miss though I can’t actually say I’ve ever being there…or perhaps I have been… in my spirit and maybe even a few times in my body too. :)…some gatherings of the saints are beyond words, you know.

I have never been one for pie in the sky religion and “when we all get to heaven” sentimentality…. I firmly believe that eternity, for us, begins right here and now the moment we meet Jesus, we step into what has been ever ongoing between the Father and the Son, and we begin partaking of what our spirits have always known and sought to partake of… a life meant to be lived out from eternity past into eternity future…inside of Him. This has been my experience in Christ...to live in the eternal Now.

Yet today…this week…these touches from the hearts and spirits of my brothers and sisters tell me that one day…in the sweet bye and bye…there is more, more than we can currently manage in our frail humanity…One Glad Day we will truly know as we are known and dwell in a place of oneness we can only dream of and our flesh prevents us from just now. Something in my heart is longing for that day today….as tears fall…. tears of pain and of joy, all at the same time…but greater still.....tears of longing.

The little black dress

Update: :) thank you all for your kind words. As Trish was inquiring, I was on my way to a fund raiser/party with my hubby for his work. Unfortunately I had laryngitis and couldn't talk to anyone..:( lol...He's been bugging me for weeks to get a dress and come with him...it was actually fun... He does lots of this stuff but I rarely go...I'm thinking of making it more of a priority. :)

Things to do...

1. Help with the neighborhood Yard Sale (huge traffic yesterday!)
2. Shop for a little black dress...party on Thurs...MUST find something!!
3. Grocery Store run
4. Pick up Mom at the airport
5. Check out a great chair I found on Craigslist (well that may have to wait) but its a really great chair!

Stories

I should preface this by saying that we have never been rich...hardly even middle class by most standards, though rich in life...therefore every purchase, every possession must serve its purpose, even dual purposes, well. When we were young and starting out each acquisition was of significant importance....many possessions were gifts or hand me downs from family or friends. The art work and knick knacks, mementos, books, photos...everything, even the frames for the photos had significance...even sentimental attachment. I loved living in a house full of stories. On any given day...a guest in our home, and there were many, could point to an object or pick up an item of interest and there would be a story to tell, a history that was inexplicably interwoven with ours, with the church, with the people we loved. Glorious stories...stories of miracles and Life, laughter, hope and Love...lots of love.
Upon moving to Atlanta we packed everything up and loaded our truck. All our possessions...all our history, all our stories,...were boxed away into storage while we lived an aesthetically clean life for some months in an apartment. Needing only the bare necessities, we lived a sterile kind of existence with few mementos around us.
Sometime later we purchased our home and began the lengthy process of unpacking, determining the new "look" for our new surroundings and settling in. At first only the basics went into the house..sofas and beds, tables and chairs...no pictures on the walls, no artwork or mementos in place. All those boxes...and there were lots of them, went into the garage to be sorted through at a later date. All those memories and treasures were there awaiting our new "look", our new life...
But during that interval,...
some things happened, big things that changed everything....and by the time we discovered that our new "look" wasn't going to be anything like our past life...it was decided that all that history would be better left in those boxes in the garage.

These days my home is a work in progress...we still aren't rich...we can't just go get a new whatever when ever we think about it...we have to plan and shop and save..and because our history is boxed up in the garage we have lots of empty places in our home and our hearts...places waiting for replacements...waiting for a new persona...we are reinventing ourselves I suppose, or being reinvented by the Lord who is ultimately in charge and the possessions we currently own and display are much more recent...our history is, in some ways...very short. Almost nothing in my house has a story now...everything is straight off the shelves at TJ MAxx or Craigslist and the only story associated with it is how much of a bargain we got it for or how well it matches our decor.

Our community is planning a neighborhood yard sale in May. I knew I really needed to clean out and get rid of some things, though I wasn't exactly sure what, So......

Yesterday I opened those boxes in the garage.....
30 years of stories came rushing out... all with voices clamoring...
Some gently and sweetly,
Some with stabbing pain and grief...
and I have to say, I'm getting rid of a lot of stuff...history...baggage...stories....its almost all going.
Someone else will use these things and never know...the love, the joy,... the grief, they have meant.

It was a hard day yesterday...I felt emotionally wrung out....but today is a new day...new stories waiting to be written..I have drawn a deep breath and put many a piece of history into the Yard Sale pile...cried over a few, smiled over a few...kept a few...to be boxed away again...stories to be kept in the dark...yet in my heart...waiting for a day when it might not be impossible to bring them to the light again.
Stories worth the telling....

OH MY GOODNESS!!!

Did you see this?
Youtube won't allow me to upload the video but you must check out this link

Christian Music Video Body Worship Dance - Worthy Is The Lamb

Isn't this beautiful? I should have posted it for Easter...but then He is Worthy and Risen every day ...so every day is Easter...right? :)

Let's have a Tea Party!

On April 15th this is happening all across the country. There will be a massive one held right here in Atlanta. What do you think?... are ya feelin' patriotic...or just plain fed up?

You've got to read this!

This post, by my dear friend, Vicki, is absolutely wonderful. I've been thinking about this topic myself a lot lately. Please go and check this one out. Have a great weekend!

Upside Down

I've been thinking lately...with the recession, mortgage crisis, financial crisis, new currency standard, world unrest etc. etc....ever feel like we are spinning round and round and may very well have fallen down a well...we may very well be on a road going nowhere as a nation, as a people..as a world? I think perhaps we have been in this state for quite sometime but haven't realized it...it reminded me of these lyrics...or I should say, these lyrics reminded me of this upside down state we find ourselves in today in our world. Nothing is as it appears, right becomes wrong and wrong becomes right. All I can think to say is "Lord, Help!"

“LIVING LIFE UPSIDE DOWN” lyrics by Russ Lee

Chorus:
What if we’ve fallen to the bottom of a well
Thinking we’ve risen to the top of a mountain
What if we’re knocking at the gates of hell
Thinking we’re heaven bound
What if we spend our lives thinking of ourselves
When we should have been thinking of each other
What if we reach up and touch the ground
To find we’re living life upside down.

The Very First

Jada's very first test...ever. :)

My daughter...the model

My lovely daughter is appearing as a model in an ad for an upscale hair salon in the Atlantan magazine. The ads will run every edition for the entire year. How cool is that?? Check it out.

Urgent message

UPDATE 03/10/09

I ran this by my hubby last night and he pointed out to me that prophesy in the NT...is always about Christ...hardly ever about "what's going to happen", and never about the end times etc. He also pointed out that Christians in scripture and the early church were usually taken by surprise when calamity came and forced to rely on the Lord for help. Only the book of Revelation deals with the future in any real meaningful way and there are 2 ways to look at it...one is that its about the end times...the other...that its the Revelation of Christ and His Church...I go with that one personally...SOOOO...then he pointed out that David Wilkerson has been saying such things for years(Constance you aren't that off:))...and that Americans tend to get all into the "calamity" "end times" mode whenever the stock market in this country goes down...totally ignoring the persecution of Christians in Darfur or China, who I'm sure think its the end of the world on a regular basis with far more reason.
He was not impressed...consequently...as well as following my own gut...I will say as I noted below, like the 5 virgins with their laps filled with oil, I intend to practice common sense and stock my pantry...on the other hand I'm not going to get too bent out of shape over things like this.
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Have any of you seen this?
I have great respect for David Wilkerson so I'm listening up. It won't hurt me to have some extra supplies on hand either.

The hook takes you back....

Ever notice how a song can take you back?
Lately I've been listening to an online praise radio station while I'm at work (I can plug in my earphones and no one knows...:)) Its called Praise on Fire Radio and I get them here. They play really awesome praise songs one after another with no commercial interruption...you should try it. Anyway...the music is mostly wonderful with very little of the Top 40 kind of thing, although in the middle of the day it can get kind of weird with music that sounds like it was written and recorded by someone sort of wandering with nothing to say.
but MOSTLY...its really really good!

ANYWAY...I sometimes hear the song "This is the air I breathe" Not the commercial version but a very "living" kind of version.

With those earphones in....

.... I am instantly transported back in time to the first time I ever heard it...ever have that happen?

Try filing mindlessly for hours with your earphones plugged in...its like being in another realm...and when this happens...that "other realm" becomes amazingly real.

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Suddenly I am standing in a large living room with about 40-50 people...yeah, I mean large, but the room is full...there are a few chairs, a love seat and one sofa but everything else has been moved out of the room and everyone is standing in a large circle. When we stop singing everyone will sit down right where they are now standing its so packed. Three fourths of the people there are under 30 (not me, but almost everyone else)..and boy can they sing! There is no music but as they raise their voices in this song, every harmony imaginable rises toward heaven...it is trapped between the walls and bodies all around and it seems to reverberate off the surroundings, penetrating your very being til you can't tell if its on the inside or outside of you.

I am standing with hands raised, in direct contact with brothers and sisters on either side of me,... and its incredible!... Since I am usually singing at the top of my voice but don't yet know this song...I am quiet....enjoying the priviledge of being washed...being poured into...being ministered to in a deep way...

and they sang it like this:

"This is the air I breathe, this is the air I breathe your Holy Presence, living in me.
This is my daily bread, this is my daily bread, your very Word, spoken IN me.

And I , I'm desperate for You, desperate for You....

She is the air You breathe, She is the air You breathe. Your holy presence, living in Her.
She is Your daily bread, She is Your daily bread, Your very Word spoken in Her.

And She, She's desperate for You, desperate for You....

And we, we're desperate for You...desperate for You

And I, I'm desperate for You...."

Times like these...the veil of flesh gets mighty thin, people....

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Then, all the sudden..my boss rings me to ask how my project is coming along.....

Deep...or not...

Well its Sunday afternoon and I'm sitting at the computer licking peanut butter off my fingers to try and type something. Today I have bought groceries and cleaned a little, I have wondered if my brakes need work and if my husband is feeling ok. I have conversed with my mom, my daughter, the auntie who had J overnight and the aforementioned hubby who answers in monosyllables...which makes me wonder if he feels ok. I have a pain in my cheek which makes me wonder if I have a sinus infection and I have appreciated, for the umteenth time, the gorgeous paintings I found and hung over my bed...ok, so all this sounds rather humdrum and boring...not terribly deep nor interesting...and that, my friends, is the point...I am ordinary, humdrum and even dare I say it,... boring. I haven't had a deep thought in ages...I can't actually remember when the last time I did have a deep thought... well maybe a few weeks ago when I read The Shack...but certainly that didn't last long nor has one crossed my mind since.
Apparently I don't think very deeply anymore...which means I have nothing to say...nothing worth writing about in cyberspace anyway...so if you used to come here for inspiration or something I suppose you'd better just give up on that...I'm a pretty shallow pond these days and not likely to bring forth any timely wisdom any time soon. I have become my worst fear...ordinary.
Will I one day again sip from the deep inner wells of the spirit and have life to share?....maybe...but for now...I'm just one of those completely surface kinda folks I usually can't bear to be around.

Lists

I am a list person..
at least I always have been in the past.
These days I'm flyin more by the seat of my pants
less gets done...
but more fun is had by all. :)
This weekend the agenda includes( and notice that I am including the entire weekend in the general scope of things as opposed to specific lists for specific days)



1. Shop for household decor(I am still trying to get decorated after living here 4 yrs)
2. Shop for sales on slacks and any remaining sweater that may still be on the shelf somewhere (they are just about replaced with t-shirts down here)
3. Shop for shower gift (baby is a girl)
3. Shop for groceries(Snyder's has out a new chocolate covered, peanut butter filled, pretzel..OMGosh!)
Are you noticing a trend here??

5. Church attendance
6. Hiking
7. Jada time
8. Pay bills
9. Eat out
10. Super Bowl! (We are a house divide on teams this year:))



What are you doing this weekend?

Alive

It's amazing how His Spirit works...don't you agree?
I'm not sure what it is...but I can go for a period of time without feeling His presence, without sensing Him...without having that quickening....sort of missing it, sort of feeling overwhelmed with the busyness of life and not really remembering what it is I am missing...then something small...ever so small, will spark in me...usually brought on by an inner urging, turning me to focus on Him for a time...paying attention to His Word or some book about Him or turning the words of a song into a prayer or a conversation with another believer, one of those kind where your spirits do more talking that your mouths...and suddenly...almost without noticing, with little effort on my part...I feel alive.

Do you know what I mean by alive?

That sudden burst of creative energy that causes you to have incredible ideas and thoughts and to know that anything is possible or that awe filled inspiration of looking at nature and sensing something so much greater...in the very same landscape you took for granted only yesterday. Its like looking through His eyes...I think it IS looking through His eyes and sensing by His Spirit and knowing with His confidence that you have power inside and can accomplish anything or that there is a high purpose to this walk and life has real meaning... thinking thoughts outside of your own depth...that come from God knows where...literally...

And when I slip away from this incredible Aliveness...usually without even noticing how the cares of my life are taking me away or how I haven't connected with Him lately... for a time I don't even notice that my life has become dead and boring and dreary...so monotonous and colorless...I only know that something is wrong...terribly wrong...and I think " it can't have always been like this....surely it won't always be this way"...then I remember that I used to feel alive...and I miss it so...but most of the time I can't seem to remember how to get back there...and Christian music or Sunday sermons or daily devotional do little to help.

Then after a while...sometimes after I have given up on ever sensing that Aliveness again...His Spirit is gracious to prompt me and draw me...and I turn again into Him...and Life is there. Sometimes only a tiny spark...but enough to remind me...and quicken me,...a glimpse into what is and what can be that causes me to hunger for more.

Crashing

Well, its Sunday night...the Eagles have lost the NFC championship game to the Cardinals...the ribs are gone...
and my son and his girlfriend, who have been visiting for a couple of days are preparing to head back to FL tomorrow. Sigh...I suppose all good things must come to an end.

At least I have one more day off to look forward to...thank you Martin Luther King Jr! :)

Jack is Back!

Yeah!
In case you missed the 4 hour premier Sun. and Mon. you can catch up here.

A miracle in my heart

01/10/09 - 11:04AM
(A bit of a disclaimer if you will;
I removed this post earlier because I was afraid it might embarrass my husband, might be misunderstood, might sound...a little over the top. Upon several requests, I am re-posting it. Those of you who know him know that I am understating if anything....)


We have a tradition in our house...it is this:

On Christmas morning when everyone is first up and before we go down to the living room, we stop on the stairs...the landing, just out of sight of the tree...(when we had no stairs, all the kids came in and sat on our bed)...and my husband...the gentle, and wise man of God and father that he is, tells the story of Christmas...the real story of Who He is and why He came...and how that impacts our world, our family...how it makes all the difference.

He has done this for some 25+ years...for as long as we have had children of any age to understand at all. Always done with their age level in mind...thoughtfully and spirit filled....one of the many ways he has changed lives...our lives...the lives of myself, my mom and each of my kids, everyone who really hears him....and now its time for another generation.
This is the first year that Jada has been old enough to know what awaits downstairs and at the same time old enough to wait and to listen...and to understand that this day... Christmas Day and what it represents...is bigger than her, bigger than us...it is bigger than the whole world.

This man.... that God has given me as a husband, my children as a father and now my granddaughter as a grandfather....has the uncanny ability...the anointing if you will...to speak Life...literally, into the lives of those he comes in contact with...be it at work, in the grocery store, at the hair salon, on the bike trail, where ever he spends any time...and you know what...people long to hear Life...they crave food for their spirits and don't even know what it is...or why the sound of his words help them.
He is real and amazing and filled with God...and overflowing with a God given ability to deposit Christ into hearts and spirits. There are so few who can do this...it stuns me...literally stuns me to hear what is perpetrated as Life to those who are so desperate for it, by those who have NO idea whatsoever how to impart Christ. .....yet my household is incredibly blessed, this man, this gifted man, this master of impartation, sits today...in suburbia USA, on the stairs on Christmas morning...imparting Life into those around him who at this moment happen to be his family...a gift hidden from the world...yet oh so powerful.

I came to know the Lord through this voice, I mean really know the Lord. I came to know His house and His purpose through words spoken from this Christ filled heart,... as have many many others. I love to hear it still, Life that is, I need to hear it always...Life never grows old and never ceases to be birthed in us if we have opportunity to hear and receive.
... and now he begins again...with a new little heart....

This quote from the latest Thoene book "The Eighth Shepherd" really said it for me....

"I can hear his voice creating a miracle in my heart..."
Bodie & Brock Thoene- The Eighth Shepherd


Roms. 10:14 How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher?

Happy New Year!

I pray this new year brings you all the colors of Joy and the ability to find it in the most unusual places.

The blue in the flames of your fireplace, the blue in the eyes of someone you love, the blue in the sky on a cold winter's day.
The red in your grandchild's cheeks and lips, or a crisp apple or juicy tomato.
The green of new leaves, or fresh paint, a tennis ball or an old green comfy sweatshirt.
The yellow of the sun on a bright summer's day or daffodils in spring or squash in summer.
The purple of twilight, eggplant parmigiana from your favorite cook, your son's faded purple favorite ball cap or the birthday card your little one makes for you.
The orange of sunset, a leaf in the fall...or your favorite sales catalog.

...and though every day in the coming year will not seem glorious....and some days will even seem dark and difficult....may each of us feel the arms of our Savior around us and His perfect Joy in our hearts.

Happy New Year!