It's amazing how His Spirit works...don't you agree?
I'm not sure what it is...but I can go for a period of time without feeling His presence, without sensing Him...without having that quickening....sort of missing it, sort of feeling overwhelmed with the busyness of life and not really remembering what it is I am missing...then something small...ever so small, will spark in me...usually brought on by an inner urging, turning me to focus on Him for a time...paying attention to His Word or some book about Him or turning the words of a song into a prayer or a conversation with another believer, one of those kind where your spirits do more talking that your mouths...and suddenly...almost without noticing, with little effort on my part...I feel alive.
Do you know what I mean by alive?
That sudden burst of creative energy that causes you to have incredible ideas and thoughts and to know that anything is possible or that awe filled inspiration of looking at nature and sensing something so much greater...in the very same landscape you took for granted only yesterday. Its like looking through His eyes...I think it IS looking through His eyes and sensing by His Spirit and knowing with His confidence that you have power inside and can accomplish anything or that there is a high purpose to this walk and life has real meaning... thinking thoughts outside of your own depth...that come from God knows where...literally...
And when I slip away from this incredible Aliveness...usually without even noticing how the cares of my life are taking me away or how I haven't connected with Him lately... for a time I don't even notice that my life has become dead and boring and dreary...so monotonous and colorless...I only know that something is wrong...terribly wrong...and I think " it can't have always been like this....surely it won't always be this way"...then I remember that I used to feel alive...and I miss it so...but most of the time I can't seem to remember how to get back there...and Christian music or Sunday sermons or daily devotional do little to help.
Then after a while...sometimes after I have given up on ever sensing that Aliveness again...His Spirit is gracious to prompt me and draw me...and I turn again into Him...and Life is there. Sometimes only a tiny spark...but enough to remind me...and quicken me,...a glimpse into what is and what can be that causes me to hunger for more.
8 comments:
I sure hear ya sister. It is the invisible ebb and flow that comes and goes. I have felt exactly the same. This week has been a roller coaster of emotions and while I have been praying, I haven't been listening because you have to stop... to listen, to really listen. Thanks for the reminder. Hoping to do some catching up tomorrow...
This just further proves how we all have that God shaped void in ourselves. It's only when we are connected to Him that we feel 'alive". When we become Believers he inhabits us and when we feel disconnected He gently woos us back to Him. We were created for fellowship with Him, no wonder things don't feel right when that connection is broken or distant.
Connie
It is always so wonderful, when God moves us and uses, as you say something so remote or small to spark that light within...no it never goes out. But the daily cares of this world can lower the flame within us...Jesus His Son is the fuel that keeps our fires burning...even when we don't feel it...we are alive!
Thank you Cheryl for your honesty in this post...lovely!
Good post Cheryl. Hills and valleys. We forget the view from the top of the mountain when we're in the depths for too long. God know when we need an injection of the Holy Spirit so we remember we need Him.
So beautifully written, Cheryl. You really described what I've felt and been through myself.
There is no "alive" like when that spark of the Holy Spirit is ignited within us. It's that spark that the world is missing and causes them to feel despair. We are not hopeless....ever!! We must lovingly share the hope!!
I am grateful for your honesty Cheryl, for I have certainly allowed the cares of this world to steal away my closeness with the Lord many times. In some small way, I take comfort in knowing that we all walk this road and struggle with the same things...although I take no comfort in knowing that you experience this too. Does that make sense?!
Hi Cheryl!
I know. Yes indeed I do know and oh how just that spark can move you into the other realm within. You can't imagine how you could ever even want anyone or thing else. Then just as suddenly you are back in the world and you realize the lack of what is real! Love you!
Sheila
i love this, your honest brought a lot of us back to life.
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